GARY HUBBARD Couples Counseling Center (815) 877-2882
When the connection starts to fade/crumble, some outside help may be necessary to rekindle the love you once had for your spouse. How we relate is developed from patterns seen or followed in the past. A counselor can help support/debunk the lessons learned from the role models that shaped each individual's perceptions and expectations of marriage. A counselor will need to learn of each partner's background to be able to assist the couple effectively.
COST. Many health insurance companies cover marriage counseling. It is therefore advisable to use a counselor that is approved by your insurance. If your insurance does not cover counseling, there any many options throughout the community for counseling at any budget. If a couple attends a church, the minister/priest/paster may provide counseling at little or no cost.
CHOOSING A COUNSELOR. It is best to select a counselor who specializes in marriage counseling. There are many counseling styles. It is best to inquire as to the techniques used prior to beginning the counseling sessions. If one type of counseling or counselor is uncomfortable for one or both spouses, seek another counselor prior to declaring counseling a failure.
RECOMMENDED COUNSELOR. Attorney Angela Lund-Logan recommends couples counselor Gary Hubbard. Gary is trained through the Gottman Institute and uses the techniques of John Gottman, the first to scientifically study marriage and divorce.
REFUSES TO ATTEND COUNSELING. Before you give up on the counseling idea, find out the reason your partner will not attend counseling. You may be able to open a dialog about counseling once you know the reason for the refusal. Knowing the reason may also give you deeper insight into the issues of your marriage. Common reasons to refuse counseling include:
Denial: spouse doesn't believe you have problems or the problems are not that serious
Defeatism: spouse thinks the marriage is over and cannot be saved
Avoidance: spouse doesn't want to admit to his/her wrongdoings or will cause pain to their spouse
Threat: spouse believes that talking about the problems will lead to divorce
spouse doesn't want someone to tell him what to do