COUPLES COUNSELING
GARY HUBBARD
Couples Counseling Center
(815) 877-2882
When the connection starts to fade/crumble, some outside help may be
necessary to rekindle the love you once had for your spouse.  How we relate
is developed from patterns seen or followed in the past.  A counselor can help
support/debunk the lessons learned from the role models that shaped each
individual's perceptions and expectations of marriage.  A counselor will need
to learn of each partner's background to be able to assist the couple
effectively.

COST.  Many health insurance companies cover marriage counseling. It is
therefore advisable to use a counselor that is approved by your insurance.  If
your insurance does not cover counseling, there any many options
throughout the community for counseling at any budget.  If a couple attends a
church, the minister/priest/paster may provide counseling at little or no cost.  

CHOOSING A COUNSELOR.  It is best to select a counselor who specializes
in marriage counseling.  There are many counseling styles.  It is best to
inquire as to the techniques used prior to beginning the counseling sessions.  
If one type of counseling or counselor is uncomfortable for one or both
spouses, seek another counselor prior to declaring counseling a failure.  

RECOMMENDED COUNSELOR.  Attorney Angela Lund-Logan recommends
couples counselor
Gary Hubbard.  Gary is trained through the Gottman
Institute and uses the techniques of John Gottman, the first to scientifically
study marriage and divorce.

REFUSES TO ATTEND COUNSELING.  Before you give up on the
counseling idea, find out the reason your partner will not attend counseling.  
You may be able to open a dialog about counseling once you know the
reason for the refusal.  Knowing the reason may also give you deeper insight
into the issues of your marriage.  Common reasons to refuse counseling
include:

  • Denial: spouse doesn't believe you have problems or the problems are
    not that serious

  • Defeatism: spouse thinks the marriage is over and cannot be saved

  • Avoidance: spouse doesn't want to admit to his/her wrongdoings or will
    cause pain to their spouse

  • Threat: spouse believes that talking about the problems will lead to
    divorce

  • Control Issues:
  • spouse doesn't want someone to tell him what to do
  • lack of respect for mental healthcare providers
Attorney Angela Lund-Logan, Attorneys & Lawyers, Loves Park, IL